Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly meme hosted by The Broke and the Bookish.
This week’s prompt is Ten Books I Will Probably Never Read. I had a hard time thinking of ten books I wouldn’t read (my head’s so full of books I want to read, I don’t have the mental space), so I’ve split my list in two: Five Books I Will Never Read and Five Books I Will Never RE-Read.
Five Books I Will Never Read
1) 50 Shades of Grey (trilogy) – E.L. James
Even if I liked reading erotica, the fact that it’s based on Twilight fan-fiction is a huge turn-off.
2) The Host – Stephenie Meyer
Speaking of Twilight…I don’t think I can read anything else by Meyer. I’m grew out of my Twilight phase years ago, and now I can see that her writing is not the greatest, in my opinion (no offense to anyone who loves her!).
3) Ulysses – James Joyce
Technically I started this one (in my third year British Novels course), but just thinking about this massive tome makes me quake in my Converse. I think I read 20 pages before I gave up and just prayed it wouldn’t be on the exam (thankfully it wasn’t!).
4) Anything by Jonathan Franzen
Because he said that YA equates to “moral simplicity” and I almost flipped my desk over in anger.
5) Anything else by Cassandra Clare
I grumbled throughThe Immortal Devices, I slogged my way through The Mortal Instruments, I even read The Bane Chronicles in the hopes that maybe it would get better. But I’m so over Cassandra Clare, I can’t even consider reading another one of her interminable Shadowhunter books.
Five Books I Will Never RE-Read
1) New Moon – Stephenie Meyer
I’m just really hating on Twilight today, aren’t I? Either way, the second book made me want to punch something because it was terrible. So while I may one day re-read the first one for funsies, I’m not touching the sequel.
2) Inheritance – Christopher Paolini
It took me six months the first time around. I’m not doing that to myself again.
3) A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius – David Eggers
More like A Mindblowing Work of A Pretentious Tool, am I right? I had to read this in high school and I don’t think I ever hated an English unit more in my life.
4) Northanger Abbey – Val McDermid
I love Austen’s original novel, and I was so excited about a contemporary re-telling (it takes place at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival?? Henry Tilney as a hot Scotsman?!? SIGN ME UP). But the characters were whiny and flat and the text-speak gave me a headache. I don’t think my review accurately conveys how bad I thought it was.
5) Hush Hush – Becca Fitzpatrick
I remember loving this when I first read it (deep in my Twilight phase…), then my sister broke it down for me and I was so upset. But then I really thought about it and honestly, if I’d read it now, I’d probably launch it across the room in anger. So thanks, Ro, for ruining it for me/saving me from a terrible series!
What are some books you’ll probably never read (or re-read!)?